Life Coach – Growth Is The Key To Long Term Success

Success Is A Lifestyle

Question: Is success a place you get to or is success a lifestyle?

Answer: Lifestyle! Success is something you do every single day. Success is the little things and little routines that you do every single day which make you successful over time.

The biggest way to be consistently successful is to continually grow. Growth equals success.  I am not saying change everything all the time every single day. I know that there are certain routines you have during the day that give you a sense of certainty. Let us say you keep 80 percent the same, then you have the 20 percent everyday where you explore something new, read something new, watch something new, learn something new and do something new.

I personally use this strategy in my business. At least 20% of the time I am searching for a new thing, a new way to market, thay new way to reach clients and a new way to help clients.

After every life coaching session I always ask myself “what are the things that went well and what things can I do even better next time? How can I help them even better next time?”

Every day I dedicate 20% to grow with my clients, myself, my body, my health, my marketing, my business, my family and my friends.

What Is The Trick To Growing In The Things That Matter?

The trick is to prioritize what is most important to you.  It might be family, friends and being healthy.  Every time you talk to your friends, focus on making a deeper connection.  Every time you talk to your family, focus on getting to know them better, focus on connecting with them better.  With your body, every single week focus on getting stronger. It might be lifting more weight, it might be changing the weight up, it might be changing the activity up, it might be going a little bit longer, a littlebit shorter like running a little bit less but more intense. It could be trying an new food or making a new dish to eat.

Successful Businesses Grow & Innovate

In business, the businesses that succeed the most are not the businesses that always stay the same.  The businesses that succeed are the ones that stay the same in some areas with the 80% that they are doing right, and then every few months they innovate.  As a result, you get the new salad at McDonalds or the new donut at Tim Hortons or the new coffee at Starbucks. Every few months or so they always come up with something new or something a little bit different.  That is innovation and  growth which they need to be successful.

business innovation

Personal Growth Is Key

In your life you have to grow even a little bit every single day or every single week on the things that matter most. Ask yourself this: with the areas that you are most successful with, do you tend to grow atleast weekly or monthly in those certain areas?  I am sure the answer is yes.  Now we both know that in order to have continued success, you need to constantly focus on growing.  Actually grow day after day week after week, month after month, year after year.  As a result you are going to be consistently successful long term.

Life Coach – Growth Mindset Vs. Fixed Mindset

What Is Growth Vs. Fixed Mindset?

How do you get unstuck?  Easy!  Throw that fixed mindset in the garbage!

The concepts of fixed vs. growth mindset were developed by Carol S. Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.

good bad mindsets

What Is A Fixed Mindset? – Definition

A fixed mindset is when people believe that personal traits, skills, abilities and qualities are innate and cannot change.  In other words, they believe that one’s abilities are genetically determined.  Examples include our creativity, intelligence, and physical abilities.

People who hold a fixed mindset also believe that most things in the world stay as they are.  For example, a bad economy will be bad forever because that is just the way it is.

A fixed mindset falsely says that talent equals success, rather than developing one’s skills.

rigid mentality

What Is A Growth Mindset? – Definition

People with a growth mindset know that they can always change and improve their personal traits, skills, abilities and qualities.  For example, someone who is having trouble cooking knows that they can improve.

positive outlook

How A Fixed Mindset Hurts You

Tommy always got high grades when he was in elementary school.  He felt so good about himself with high self-confidence because he got praised for his exceptional marks.  Tommy thought that he will always be good at school because he was innately smart.

Years later he stopped putting in the effort and eventually became an average student.  Since he believed that he could not do anything to improve his grades, he felt down, stuck and with low confidence.

failing school

How A Growth Mindset Helps You

There once was a high school student who loved playing basketball.  He decided to try-out for the varsity basketball team, only to get cut.  This young man spent every day of the next year improving his game.  As a reward he made the team next year and became the star of his team.

This same young man made it to the NBA, won six NBA Championships and became the greatest ever basketball player.  Michael Jordan succeeded time and time again thanks to his growth mindset.

never give up

Mindset Examples

Fixed Mindset Examples

A fixed mindset:

  • avoids challenges
  • gives up easily
  • sees effort as a waste
  • hates negative feedback
  • gets jealous by other people’s success.

This deterministic view of themselves and the world contributes to their failure and lack of self-confidence.

Growth Mindset Examples

A growth mindset:

  • likes challenge
  • is persistent even through setbacks
  • loves putting in the effort to succeed
  • learns from constructive criticism
  • is a life long learner

This empowered view of themselves and the world is a major factor in their personal and professional success.

growth mindset examples

Growth Mindset Scientific Studies

In a study conducted by Carol Dweck and Lisa Blackwell, researchers tracked the grades of 700 seventh graders for two years.  The students with a growth mindset got higher grades over time versus students with a fixed mindset.  After only two years there was already a difference in grades.  We can see that year after year the gap in results will get bigger.

students mentality

This notable difference in results was based largely on something simple: their perspective on their intelligence and abilities.  The students who performed better knew that they had the power to increase their capabilities and exceed their potential.

The Physiological Difference Of Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset

Our brains actually operate differently based on which mindset we adapt.  For people who hold a fixed mindset, scientific scans show that their brains light up most when they receive information about how they performed.  They ask themselves “how do I look to other people?”

On the other hand, for people with a growth mindset, their brains are most active when they learn what they can do better next time.  They ask themselves “how can I keep growing as a person?”

brains studies

Basically, people with a growth mindset have physically trained themselves to highly value learning and improving.

How People With Different Mentalities See Hard Work & Effort

The fixed mindset people sees effort as a bad thing.  As soon as they fail at something, they protect their ego and sense of certainty by concluding that they are incapable or that it is just not possible. They lose motivation and drive, eventually settling for a life of mediocrity.  They give up on having a vision, and live their lives in reaction to everything outside of themselves.

The growth mindset views setbacks as part of the journey and an experience which helps them grow and do better next time.  For example, successful people never say that they failed.  They say “I learned x, y, and z”.  World record holder for stilt walking Doug Hunt also tells kids “if you fall off the stilts, you’re actually falling forward”.

keep trying

Growth Mindset Education

In another study by Doctor Dweck and Doctor Claudia Mueller called Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children’s Motivation and Performance, a series of kids did a set of puzzles.  They told some of the kids “wow, you must be really smart”, and told the other kids “wow, you must have tried really hard”.  (left sided bar chart)

The doctors then offered the kids to do another puzzle: an easy one or a hard one.  Most of the kids who got the fixed praise chose to do the easy puzzle, while most of the kids who got the growth praise were excited about the challenge of the hard puzzle.

Then the researchers gave a hard puzzle to all of the kids.  After trying the hard puzzles, the kids went back to the easy puzzles.  The ones with the fixed mentality scored significantly less than the kids with the growth mentality. (middle bar chart)

When asked about their scores, the fixed mindset kids lied a lot more about their scores (right sides bar chart).  They were desperate to maintain the praise of achieving something.

Growth Mindset In Your Life

A growth mindset gives real confidence and success in their whole lives.  These successful people are better at problem solving, playing sports, managing people and even dancing!  We know that the brain is malleable and flexible.  The right mentality positively trains efforts, focus and resilience, all traits needed to succeed at the highest level.

How To Help Your Children Develop A Growth Mindset

Praise your children for their effort, and reward them for learning.  Let them know that they can do and become so many different careers.  Celebrate mistakes as they mean that the child learned something.

Also let them know and show by example that there are always options and solutions in life.  Lack mentality breads scared and unconfident children. The abundance mentality is actually the partner in crime to a growth mindset.

positive mentality

To learn how to keep growing, Get Your Free Copy of 5 Best Ways To Achieve Your Goals.

Life Coach – How To Stop Giving A Shit About What Other People Think

How To Not Care (Too Much) About What People Think!

not care what people think

Too often people care too much about what other people think of them.  Everybody just wants to feel love/accepted.  Some people hate being judged and take criticism really bad.  They seek and crave approval above everything.  They are seen as highly sensitive people who always worry about what other people are thinking.  This scared mentality leads to low self-esteem and low confidence.

Today you will learn how to overcome feeling of worthlessness and emptiness.

Basically you will learn how to not give a f*ck!

 

Common advice to not care what people say include

  • Accept yourself for who you are
  • Be honest so nobody can truly judge you
  • Tell yourself how important you are
  • People do not really care about you
  • Asking yourself “What’s the worst thing that can happen if somebody does not like me?”
  • Know that you can not make everybody happy
  • Stop spending time with toxic people
  • Learn to say no
  • Take your stress out at the gym
  • Know that most of it does not matter
  • Stop being a perfectionist

positive talk

Some people even say that you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself.  Affirmations are supposed to rewire your brain to feel good about yourself.  These feel good strategies are more band-aid hacks rather than long term solutions.

Rather than positive affirmations and coping tips and techniques, it is a lot more helpful to tell yourself the TRUTH.  Would you like the truth?

The Truth Of Caring About What People Think

george carlin quote

People say “I don’t care what anybody thinks!”, but it is usually a lie.  Not caring about anybody and anything will make you feel mentally and emotionally dead inside.  Some people even physically die when they have nobody or nothing to lie for.  The trick is to focus on the person and things in life who truly matter.

4 Easy Ways To Not Care About What Other People Think

Value your peer group rather than everybody

Most people care about what literally everybody thinks of them.  This mentality is a sure way to disaster, uncertainty and low self-esteem since it is an impossible goal.

trying to fit in

Other people give themselves more space by only caring about the cultural norms.  However cultural norms are usually about maintaining the restrictive status quo.  The status quo also puts you in a psychological and emotional box.  Adopting this herd mentality will usually make you feel stuck and unfulfilled.

real friends

The solution is to hand pick the people who’s opinions you truly value. For example, if you yourself value being nice, genuine and hard working, find friends who share these values.  Then value the opinions of these people who go in line with how you want to live.  Valuing your friends’ opinions who you chose help you live everyday as your true best self.

You Can Feel Love Automatically

Underneath it all, one of the main reasons why people care about what other people think is because they want to be loved and accepted.  Love/connection and feeling part of a group is actually a human need.

feeling happy

Humans will do almost anything to feel love/connected.  Most people meet this need by getting love from other people.  At that point they give themselves permission to love themselves.

For example, most people try to be significant, special or cool so that other people will validate them.  Why?  Because most people think validation = a form of love/connection.

materialistic people

That is why people will spend money they do not even have to buy the latest clothes, cars, houses and more.  Some people will go so much in debt to ‘keep up with the Joneses/Kardashians’ that they need charities just to feed their kids!

People put down other people, exaggerate their problems and play the victim just to be significant to get love/connection.

The truth is that we can feel love/connection automatically within ourselves.

How do you feel when you see a baby?

adorable baby

How do you feel when you see your best friend?

cute little girl

What about when you hug a family member you are really close to?

sharing love

As you have felt, you can feel the emotion of love automatically .  You are in control of that feeling!

Focus On Giving Love, Rather Than Always Trying To Get Love

sharing love

People feel depressed when they think about themselves and what they are not getting.  Feeling fulfilled and sharing that love makes you and the other person happy.

Note: this is not a trade to get significance.  This is not “I’ll love you, and I secretly expect love back”.  You do it because you are full of love and that is who are you.  Most people will reciprocate which is icing on the cake!

love unconditionally

People who feel filled with love and caring usually attract friends and relationships a lot easier!

Focus On Values More Than On Everybody Liking You

Now that you have your secure and genuine group of friends, you can focus on what is truly important in life.

You can go to the gym without feeling shy because you have your close group of friends and you value feeling good more than being “perfect” 24/7.

build confidence

You can also try that new business because even if it does not work out in the beginning, you value growth and being financially free more than caring about what every single person in the neighborhood thinks.

Conclusion

Instead of not giving a shit, give a shit to all the people and things that truly matter in life.  Create your safety net of close friends and family that have similar values.  Also value the important things in life and the people who truly matter.  They will always be by your side.

To learn how to be mentally tough to reach your goals, download 5 Best Ways To Achieve Your Goals.

Life Coach – Practice Does Not Make Perfect

Does Practice Make Perfect?

practice makes perfect

You will learn that practice alone does not make perfect.  The most effective way to improve a skill is through perfect practice.  You will learn how the brain and central nervous system works to help you increase performance through practice.

You will understand that result is more important than hours, in every part of your life.  Average performers focus on the task and hoping to get the result.  Top performers focus on the result, and find the fastest way to achieve it.  To learn more about how to achieve your goals and dreams quicker, read 5 Best Ways To Achieve Your Goals.

RESULT: You will perform better at work, in sports, in your relationships, and with money in a shorter time.

What Is Practice? – Definition

Practice is the repetition of an action to improve or maintain one’s ability.

band camp

The Science Of Practice: Brain Activity When Learning

Our brains and central nervous system (CNS) have two kinds of neural tissue:

1. Grey matter:

  • Pinkish-grey in colour
  • Holds all of the synapses
  • Contains cell bodies, dendrites and neuron axon terminals

Basically grey matter processes information in the brain.

brain chemistry

2. White matter:

  • White in colour
  • Mostly fatty tissues
  • Transport nerve impulses from neuron to neuron
  • Made up of myelinated axons which connect all the different parts of the grey matter

Basically white matter helps your brain get from point a to point b, then point c, and so on.

how brain operates

How Does Myelin Affect White Matter?

White matter is made up of axons which are wrapped by a fatty substance called myelin.  This myelin sheath or myelin covering wraps around the white matter.  Myelin basically affects the fibers inside of the white matter.  It protects the fibers and allows helps you go from point a to point b faster and more efficiently.

Think of myelin like insulation on electrical cables.  The insulation keeps in energy from electrical signals from the brain.  When your brain sends out electrical signals, the insulation also prevents lose of energy.

myelin covering

How Does Practice Improve Performance?

The more you practice, the more this myelin sheath changes. Faster and more efficient neural pathways. You actually build more layers of this insulation.  Over time you have thick strong insulation which creates faster and more efficient neural pathways.  As a result, you can perform a task faster and with greater precision.

neurofibrills

It is like a race track from your brain to the rest of your body and mind.  To illustrate, your brain sends a signal to your muscles to move in a certain way to head in a soccer ball.  This myelin helps send the signal faster and more efficiently.  Basically you go from point a to e quickly, as opposed to a to b, then b to c, and so forth.  Like a race car on a race track, you get from where you are to where you want to be in lightning speed.

race car F1

Using an example from sports psychology, soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo participated in a study called Tested To The Limit.  A volunteer crossed him the ball, and turned off the lights one second after kicking the ball.  Thanks to develop myelin, Ronaldo was still able to score.  In the next trial, the volunteer turned the lights off even before kicking the ball, yet Ronaldo still scored.

A similar but not as accurate explanation people use is called “muscle memory”.  Muscle memory explains that if you work out a muscle for a long time, then stop working it out for a while, you will get all the muscle back faster and more efficiently once you start working out again.

Muscles do not actually have memory.  The ability to regain lost muscle quickly and efficiently is most likely thanks to myelin.

How Many Hours Does It Takes To Be An Expert?

Top performers, experts, and also athlete always promote practice.  They look into the cameras and say “practice, practice, practice”.  We also hear our teachers and parents say “if you work hard, you will be successful”.

In Dr. Ericsson’s Expert Performance, he states that people need 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become an expert.  This concept is also known as the “10,000-Hour Rule”.

Years later, Malcolm Gladwell published a book called Outliers: The Story of Success.  Like Ericsson, Gladwell also repeatedly promotes the “10,000-Hour Rule”.

outliers book

Although these rules of thumb are a good place to start, they do not explain the full story to skill improvement.

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

The truth is that practice in itself can only help performance to an extent.  As the old saying goes: “it’s quality over quantity”.  The quality and effectiveness of your practice plays a key role in improvement.

For example, if you bench press five pounds, you will build some strength and muscle, but it would take you like 10,000 hours.  On the other hand, if you bench press 55 pounds, you will build even more strength and muscle in a much shorter time.  This is called effective practice.

heavy press pecs

 

Effective practice is consistent and intensely focused.  Steps and explanation to effectively practice:

  • Focus on task at hand: put all your energy into the task.  Multi-tasking does not help here.

focus example

  • Use high emotion: how much does the task mean to you?  People learn and remember information when they believe that it is very important to achieve their deepest needs and values.  For example, if you do not care about math, you can read the page a hundred times and still not learn anything.  On the contrary, when you read a letter that your lover wrote for you, you only need to read it once to remember most of it.  The reason is because there was high emotion.

girl reading letter

  • Frequent repetition with breaks: keep your mind sharp by taking 10 minute breaks every 40-50 minutes

effective studying

  • Perform the task correctly slow & fast: Start your repetitions slowly to perform them correctly, then do them faster over time

learning new skill

 

Does Visualization To Rewire Your Brain Work In Sports?

Yes, visualization works in sports.  The key here is that an athlete must visualize themselves perfectly succeeding over and over again.  Even this mental exercise shows that it is not practice in itself that makes perfect, it is perfect practice which gives you results.

A famous study took 144 basketball players and divided them into two groups for two weeks.

sports psychology experiment

  • Group A: Physically practiced free throws
  • Group B: Mentally practiced free throws in vivid detail with emotion.  They visualized themselves sinking the basket every time.

RESULT: The intermediate and expert free throw takers in both groups improved by basically the same amount.

Conclusion

When you want to improve a skill, focus on perfect practice.  Do not just count the hours.  Peak performers do whatever it takes, while focusing the whole time on the result.  If it takes you 10,000 hours to be an expert, that is great.  If you get to the same level in 9,000 hours, it does not matter.  Result matters most which comes from perfect practice.

To learn more about how to get results in your life, download this free e-book 5 Best Ways To Achieve Your Goals.

 

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